Its the ending that counts

Why do I do it? HOW do I do it? What is it like? The questions I am asked frequently from people who have just found out that he is gone…. “I could never do it.”  That is what most of them say.

 I do it because I love him. . Because this was his choice, he decided to give his life so others could have better. To give up time with his family, his children so other fathers, mothers, sons and daughters didn’t have to.

 Love, trust, commitment, they are knowing that even when he doesn't have your hand, he still has your heart to hold on to every day and night. I do this because it is the life he chose, and I will always stand by him. I will remember that his honor, courage, and respect, do not outweigh his love for me. I do this for him because of everything he does for me. There is not "how" I do this. There is only me doing it. There is no other thing for me to do. There is no other thing I would rather do.

 There are bad days, there are good days. But only YOU decide if what happens around you actually affects you. So I buck up and cheese it up. I smile, knowing that he makes me happy, and I refuse to cry over somebody who gives up so much for me. He is not anything to be sad about. He is the definition of my happiness. You could do it, too. You would do it. I am not doing anything that any other girlfriend wouldn't. If I am, then frankly you've got some reevaluating of your relationship to do. Why wouldn't you do this for the man you love?

 I am not a part of the silent ranks. I have a voice, and trust me I WILL use it.  I am not the one he left behind I am his constant support and protector of his heart.  .

 I am just a woman, he is just a man, and we are just in love. We are in love through the yelling. We are in love through the tears. We are in love through the distance. His arms are the only arms I will ever need, the only kiss I will ever crave, and the only man I will ever love this deeply again. He is my everything,

When he finally comes home, I will once again cook dinner on a regular basis. I will clean every day instead of once MAYBE twice a week. I will take shorter showers, I will pay more attention to how often I wash my hair. My body pillow will find a new home in my closet. And I no longer will fall asleep next to my computer.  

Yes I have smiled since hes been gone, but this smile will be different. It will be brighter, bigger, and happier. I will be happier.

I cannot wait for him to step off that plane and be in my arms again. I will enjoy and soak up every moment with him until duty calls and he must leave again but however far away, I will always love him and I will always support him.